Embarrassing much?

It takes a lot to make me blush. Even when I do, it's really hard to tell unless you know my face extremely well. Most people don't and therefore haven't ever seen me actually turn pink.

I promise it happens though. More than i'd like it to.

Once upon a time I was on a date. It was the day before Halloween and we were planning to dress up and then go roller skating. I decided to dress up like a nerd and went to the D.I. to get a costume. The top I got was nerdy but it was cute enough that I could wear it on a regular day and nobody would think any less of me. I completed my look with suspenders, strange/lumpy socks, taped glasses and pig tails. Off to the roller skating rink we went! We stopped at the parent's houses of one of the girls we were with on the way to show off our costumes. I took off my jacket to present my nerdiness in all of it's glory. The parents started taking pictures of the different couples but half way through the mom stopped everybody. You see, the top I bought happened to have buttons up the front. I inherited my moms bust and occasionally have trouble fitting properly into shirts. Somehow in taking off my jacket to take pictures, two of the buttons on my top had popped open. The mom noticed and decided to subtly (but definitely NOT so subtly) motion and mouth to me to button my shirt up.

Awesome. There are going to be a dozen different pictures of me on Facebook looking like a hooch. My face was red for at least an hour after that.

At least my bra was cute.

It was red. Like my face.

It's only fair.

I wrote about my roommate's guy situation a while ago. I guess it's only fair to write about mine? Don't get too excited though, I won't reveal too much.

Guys in my life always tend to come in sets of three and this semester has been no exception. It's fun having options. Then again, it's harder to have options.

Without further adieu, in the order that I met them:

British Columbia- I asked one of my roommate's friends at the beginning of the semester to give me guitar lessons. He probably didn't want to do it in the first place, but he's a stellar guy so of course he agreed. He comes to Sunday dinner (well, sometimes) and once a week we get together and I make a fool of myself trying to learn songs he wrote himself. I love it! Ha no actually I really love it. I'm learning a lot. My roommate told me that he wanted to ask me out about a month ago. I figured she was joking because I thought I wasn't really British Columbia's type. I was caught completely off-guard when he actually did ask me out. The date was fun. I like him. I could end the story right there because there isn't anything that has happened since then. He's not interested. Kinda sucks, for me at least. But hey! At least I'm getting better at the guitar?

Jekyl- I actually met him in my psychology class last Fall. I must not have made a very big impact on him though because when we ended up in the same religion class this semester, he had no idea who I was. Not to worry! We ended up sitting next to each other and making small talk and such. About a month into the semester, he finally asked my for my phone number. Unfortunately, he didn't do anything with it for about 2 weeks. No call, no text. Did you know that 70% of guys that ask for a girls' number don't ever make contact with her again? I can thank my brother for that statistic. He was being so encouraging when I told him about my situation. Come to find out, Jekyl entered my phone number wrong in his phone and had been trying to get in touch! Crazy huh. Well, today will officially be our second date. It should be awesome :) Jekyl makes me laugh. Plus he calls be foxy.

Eminem- Devotional is every tuesday and I am a creature of habit. Naturally, I sit in the very same chair, in the very same position, with the very same people every single week. A couple weeks ago though, I couldn't make it due to a group meeting. Devotional ended early so I went to find my roommates for a bit to talk with them before class. While standing there, this guy came up to us and introduced himself. He said he had seen us sitting there every week and he figured he might as well come over and meet us. Little did he know, all three of us had shamelessly checked him out every single tuesday because he always sat two rows in front of us to the left. We felt creepy that we already knew exactly who he was and already had a nickname for him. Well, I felt creepy at least. When everybody was getting ready to leave, he turned and randomly asked me on a date! I know right? He's got some serious guts. They paid off though because tonight will be our second date!

All this talk about boys has me missing my beloved Brooke... We would sit and talk for hours about our crushes and the day when we would finally get to be sealed for eternity. She obviously never got to see that day in her mortal life but I know she'll be with me when I make that important decision for myself. Love you, my sweet Brooklet...

Library Etiquette

1. Do bring snacks to share with everyone around you as long as it isn't a banana or corn nuts. Because those things smell. And are sick.

2. Don't turn your ear phones up super loud, especially if you're listening to Your Body is a Wonderland (by John Mayer) on repeat.

3. Do sit at least one cubicle away from your neighbor, if at all possible, to avoid potentially awkward eye contact.

4. Don't leave creepy notes on the laptop of another person in hopes of getting a date when they leave to get a drink from the water fountain.

5. Do wear smelly good stuff because everybody's nose works eleven times better when it's silent and they've been studying chemistry for five hours straight.

6. Don't go to the library if you don't actually have anything to study. Everybody notices and then proceeds to send you telepathic hate messages because they have 3 more papers to write and a test to take before curfew.

7. Don't talk painfully loudly about how you can't get a date, or about how that guy hasn't called you back, or about how you can't believe you're not married yet because chances are, after 3 minutes of hearing that everyone around you will be able to answer those questions for you.

8. Do sit near someone who is attractive. It might be harder to focus at first, but they do provide some nice eye candy for those essential half-time study breaks.

9. Don't chew gum and pop it over and over and over and over and over and over because if you do, I will (or somebody equally as muscular) pop you.... in the face.

10. Do smile at everybody that looks entirely too stressed. You never know whose day you could be making :)

When you think you know what you don't really know.

We all know those songs where we think the artist is singing something.... but then we look up the lyrics and they're not really singing what we think they are singing.... but we still sing it our way because it's probably better anyways...

For example.

That song Big Yellow Taxi by Counting Crows. Someone should tell them that when they say "parking lot", it actually sounds like they are saying "******* lot".

Annunciate please!!!

On a happier note, I played a few of the songs i've written in front of another human being for the very first time last night. That's a ginormous/huge/massive/astronomical step for moi. For those of you who don't know, I play the guitar. And the violin. And the harmonica.

Confession: I pull odd faces when I sing. So, sometimes when I'm home alone, I turn my webcam on and look at myself while I sing to practice NOT looking like I have just eaten a lemon or have been told that my dog that i've had since childhood, just died.

Hackers.

So my roommate was freaking out today.

She has an aol e-mail account.

Apparently someone has been hacking into it and sending everyone on her contacts list a million ads about male enhancements....

Hilarious? Yep.

I.Am.Webster.

"Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it's thinking less about yourself"

I like this quote. A lot. I can't remember where I heard it....

Today I feel like a total hippie.

Why can't everybody just love everybody else?

Why don't people give out more hugs?

Why isn't weed legal? .........just kidding! ha just wanted to see if you were paying attention.

Tongue Tickles

I don't have a lisp.

Or a speech impediment.

Or any excuse as to why I just can't say a plethora of words correctly.

I try to avoid certain words on purpose because I know I sound uneducated when I pronounce them wrong. They slip out occasionally though, due to necessity.

I can't say ambulance. I say ambliance.

I can't say measure. I say mazure.

I can't say elbow. I say allbow.

I can't say treasure. I say traysure.

Etcetera....Etcetera. (holy heavens ... that's a tough word to spell)

Please note that I am a college girl. And therefore am educated.

A college girl that occasionally forgets that you're not really supposed to start sentences with 'ands' or 'buts' and has terrible punctuation.

Kryptonite.

There are some things in this world that make me embarrassingly weak at the knees. I try to act really cool and pretend like I don't have an Achilles heel. It doesn't work though. Turns out, I'm not very smooth.

1. Glasses. The nerdy image they help the guy convey is nearly too much for me to handle.

2. Ties. I have to close my eyes during the entire sacrament portion so I can focus on what's really important. If I don't, I shamelessly sit there and check out the blessers and the passers.

3. Half smiles. They can keep me captivated for hours... and hours. Straight faces, no problem. Big smiles usually pass quickly so it's hard to catch them.

4. Eye contact. I think every girl on the planet agrees when I say that when a guy looks at you and ONLY you, it's intoxicating.

5. Unnecessary contact. Let me explain. I am not a touchy person. It's really hard for me to hug people and I never initiate any sort of physical contact with the opposite sex. However, when they casually, very unnecessarily, slyly, accidentally-on-purpose, graze my shoulder, or foot, or arm, or hand..... it gets me every single time.

Sorry. I couldn't find a picture for this one that wasn't cheesy or make me want to vomit.

I don't know if you've noticed... but I'm terrible at punctuating. Don't judge me.

Hints.

I don't feel like I hint at many things. I'm not a terribly confrontational person, but I'd like to think I'm fairly straight forward in my actions. Since I don't give hints I, unfortunately, don't know how to take them either.

Hold the phone!

You should be clapping now though. Because. I. just. took. a. hint. I repeat. I just took a hint. Crystal clear actually. Yep, got it.

Post. Script. We dressed up like goddesses for our ward Halloween party tonight.

Fact. The fajitas I am making for tomorrow will be divine.

Fact. Sometimes I hate being a vegetarian.

Starfish.

I'm sure we've all heard this story eleventy-billion times. But, it's too good to not repeat.

Once upon a time, there was an old man walking along the beach. At this particular time of year, there were thousands and thousands of starfish that had been washed up on the shore and left to meet their fate in the heat of the sun. The old man eventually came upon a young girl. To his surprise, she was picking starfish up one by one, and throwing them back into the ocean. He knew there were too many for her to make a big impact so he shouted out to her, "What are you doing? You can't possibly save every one or make a difference!" The wise little girl bent down and picked up yet another starfish and gently tossed it back into the sea. She then looked up at him and said, "I made a difference for that one."

Woah. Reality check.

How many starfish have you tossed back lately?

I know I could do better.

P.S. I just now figured out how to change the color of the text. I feel 1 .3 times as cool now.

Scarfey.

When my sister was younger, she received a pink, fuzzy, skinny scarf from some white elephant exchange she did at gymnastics. I don't remember her even liking the scarf at first. Then, out of nowhere she developed an attachment to it. Every night before she went to bed, she would find that skinny scarf and wrap it around her neck a dozen or so times and then proceed to sleep with it. Having been subject to it many times, I can attest to the fact that my sister is a total HEATER when she sleeps. Because of the new addition to her sleeping attire, she was forced to shed a few articles of other, unneeded clothing. So, she finally just ended up sleeping in her skivies with scarfey as a noose. This ritual continued for about a year. After that, the scarf only made appearances about every few months or so. When I came to college, my sister stuck scarfey into my bag and insisted that I take it with me because it smelled like her. She must really love me huh :)

Needless to say, every time I attempt to wear a scarf, I think of waking up to that pink thing wrapped around her neck a dozen times. It always makes me chuckle a bit.

I wear scarfs a lot... in my apartment. I don't look to awesome in them so I haven't branched out and worn them in public. Yet.

You can tell I think I'm hilarious. I don't really know how to tie them either.... Which is another reason I don't wear them in public.

No scarf for me today I decided.

Today...

Sucks. I hate days when I feel tiny and insignificant.

Usually, I buy myself flowers to make myself feel better. I always end up telling the check out guy at the store they are for my roommate to avoid getting a weird/quizzical look.

Then I feel even more lame because I know he can tell I'm lying.

Orchids are my favorite.

Followed by tulips,

Followed by daisies.

Followed by irises.

Followed by moon flowers.

Followed by snapdragons.

Followed by all other flowers.

Forbidden.

Since moving out of my house, I've discovered that I have various weaknesses. Particularly in the areas concerning self-control and food. I can't buy certain things because I will literally sit down and eat EVERY LAST BIT OF IT in one sitting.

Here is a list (yes, yet another list) of things I don't allow myself to buy anymore:

1. Sour cream (No, I don't eat it plain. However, I do go through it like it's vanilla pudding)

2. Tortilla chips

3. Ritz crackers

4. Bagels

5. Dried mangos (or pretty much dried fruit of any kind)

6. Sharp cheddar cheese (If it's just mild, I can control myself. Even medium cheddar isn't that tempting. Sharp gets me every time though :()

7. Grapes

8. Nutella (I have convinced myself that it goes with almost everything. Therefore, I put it on almost everything. Which is gross. So that's why I don't buy it- I make it into a safety hazard.)

9. Protein Bars

10. Fruit roll-ups

Even though some of these things are actually healthy, they're probably expensive. I can't exactly go through everything I buy at the speed of light on a college student's budget.

P.S. Oh man oh man. Miscommunications are the story of my life. I am a firm believer in under-analyzing things. Sometimes this is a bad idea. Not all the time, but definitely some of the time. Therefore, I have decided that I should pay more attention to the things I write and say to the opposite sex. Because apparently, they pick up on more things than I thought they did. Which sucks. Because I don't generally mean for there to be anything to 'pick up' in the first place.

Horrifying Discovery.

Alright. I'll admit it. I just realized that I have freakishly long arm hair.

Silver lining= It's blonde and very fine so most people can't tell.

Except for when I get goosebumps and my coat of fur stands at full attention. Luckily, I've mastered the subtle combover technique for such occasions...

I got a call last night from a childhood friend that just got engaged a few days ago. Thinking that she was about to officially inform me of her big news, I quickly answered my phone and let out a tiny shriek and mumbled something like, "OhmygoshkaylaIcan'tbelieveyou'regettingmarried! Howdidithappen?"

Then I realized she had called me on accident. Ouch.

1/3 down. pat?

This morning's long run was 9 miles. That's just over 1/3 of a marathon (26.2 miles). Julianne drove me out to the boonies at 7 am and dropped me off to meet my fate. I did well. In fact, I did really well. Just shy of 9 minute miles the whole way. I did my ceremonial parking lot dance (which, on principle, cannot stop even if there are viewers) and jived all the way up the stairs to my apartment.

I tend to have jell-o legs after any run over 6 miles. I don't know why I bother to dance after because I'm so exhausted. I wouldn't even call it a dance. It's more of a swagger/ bouncy walk with awkward fist pumps and random head bobs.

I guess I do it because it makes me feel like I won something.

Taken after sacrificing my body....

Epiphanies

When I put up my hood while I'm running, Rocky theme music immediately plays through my head and I temporarily feel like a pro boxer.

My fingernail polish never stays on longer than a week because I make my showers so hot, the paint literally peels off.

At night, when driving through sets of traffic cones on either side of my car, I convince myself that I'm a racecar driver.

Have you ever said a word over and over and over and over and over again until it loses its meaning?

Do it. I double dog dare you.

Gratitude

Today I was blessed to receive a quiet reminder.

For one of my classes, we had to watch several clips of the Milgram experiment. If you are not familiar with it, it's definitely worth youtubing. Basically, the subject was given the title teacher, and the confederate, learner. Unknown to them, both slips said "teacher", and the actor claimed to have the slip that read "learner", thus guaranteeing that the participant would always be the "teacher". The "teacher" and "learner" were separated into different rooms so they couldn't see each other, but still could communicate. The "teacher" was given an electric shock from the generator as a sample of the shock the "learner" would supposedly receive during the experiment. The "teacher" was then given a list of word pairs which he was to teach the learner. The teacher would then read the first word of each pair and read four possible answers. The learner would press a button to indicate his response. If the answer was incorrect, the teacher would administer a shock to the learner, with the voltage increasing for each wrong answer. If the learner got the answer right, no shock was administered and they moved on.

The subjects believed that for each wrong answer, the learner was receiving a shock when in reality, there were no shocks. After the confederate was separated from the subject, a tape recorder was set up that would imitate the shock sounds that the teacher believed he was administering. After a number of voltage level increases, the actor would bang on the wall that separated him from the subject. After several times banging on the wall and complaining. all responses by the learner would cease.

If at any time the subject indicated his desire to halt the experiment, he was given a succession of verbal prods by the experimenter, in this order:

1. Please continue.

2. The experiment requires that you continue.

3. It is absolutely essential that you continue.

4. You have no other choice, you must go on.

If the subject wished to stop after all four successive verbal prods, the experiment was halted. Otherwise, it was halted after the subject had given the maximum 450- volt shock three times in succession.

This experiment has since been replicated with men, women, military members, all kinds of demographics, etc. The results have been consistent. 2/3 of all people that participated in the experiment administered the maximum shock to the "learner".

WOW. Does authority really have that big of an affect on us? Just because someone is wearing a lab coat, will we compromise our character?

Does situation trump character?

Does situation trump weak character?

Or my favorite...

Does situation reveal character?

Think about Christ. How solid must his character have been to play the part of a Savior. One of Satan's sharpest tools in the pre-existence was posing this question, "Do you really think Jesus can do it? Do have enough faith in his character to believe that he can go without sin for an entire lifetime? Do you actually think he can make it through the entire Atonement without backing out?"

Sitting in that classroom today just made me appreciate my Savior so fully. Nobody even mentioned him during that hour, yet I know the Holy Ghost taught me a life changing lesson about Christ's love.

What ultimately determines my character?

What's more important: obeying authority or exercising my agency?

Just a few quotes I found to end with:

"You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him." -James D. Miles

"You don't carry in your countenance a letter of recommendation." -Charles Dickens

"Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power." -Abraham Lincoln

"I forgot that every little action of the common day makes or unmakes character, and that therefore what one has done in the secret chamber one has some day to cry aloud on the house-tops." -Oscar Wilde

Also...

I feel like I should mention that I don't like the smell of barbeque potato chips.

And that sometimes I purposely leave a tiny bit of tooth paste foam in the corners of my mouth so that I can lick it later and feel a wee more fresh.

Baby Goggles

Due to my major, I'm constantly bombarded with pictures of children. Not ugly ones either. CUTE ones. We also talk about them non-stop. Go figure.

So after I come home from class everyday, I have this crazy urge to get one.

They have mail order babies. I've checked.

Then I spend a good hour thinking about what a good little mother i'd be. I'd cut the crusts off of PB&Js and do little crafts for daddy with them... I'd probably even let my kids get a puppy. I'd be THAT cool.

That's about the time when I remember, I don't have a boyfriend. Kids are very far off for me.

Then I think about how much kids cost.

Then I think about how much husbands cost.

Then I remember, maybe I don't want them after all.

Nope. Still want them.

Fashion commandments.

#1. Thou shalt never wear a fleece vest.

#2. Thou shalt never wear rimless glasses.

#3. Thou shalt never tuck your shirt into your jeans unless you're a dad.

#4. Thou shalt never share clothes with your wife.

#5. Thou shalt never wear free t-shirts more than 3 days a week.

#6. Thou shalt never mix plaids and polka dots.

#7. Thou shalt never wear anything supporting products you aren't familiar with because said products could be massively illegal and/or racist.

#8. Thou shalt never wear leggings in place of real pants.

#9. Thou shalt never wear a shade of eyeshadow that you can't even find in nature.

#10. Thou shalt never wear clothes that you have to use double sided tape to hold in place.

R. U. N.

R- Are

U- You

N- Nuts?

Why, yes! Yes I am!

I'm exhausted today. It's the last day of the week. I've had lots of tests over the last few days and tons of late nights in the library. I've been nervous about my long run all week. It's 8 miles and I was supposed to go on it about 2 hours ago. Sometimes I'm not sure my body can go that far. Then I remember that I'm not dealing with the same body I had a year ago. I've been training for this. I've been working for this. I can do this.

Right?

Right. Which is why I am going to get off blogger/facebook and go fight the pavement.

And win.

Sometimes...

it would be nice to be the exception.

Perfect Crimes

"What is my perfect crime? I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No. I go for the chandelier; it's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning the cops and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I love the cold. Thirty years later I get a postcard. I have a son. And he's the Chief of Police. This is where the story gets interesting: I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris by the Trocadero. She's been waiting for me all these years. She's never taken another lover. I don't care. I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier." Dwight K. Schrute

This week I have exactly 4 tests. I ended up dropping one of my classes so instead of taking 19 credits, I'm now only taking 16. But still... it's like finals week. Almost. I really wouldn't mind if I didn't have to take them all in the testing center. The people that work there are vicious. Your jeans can't have any fraying at the bottom or any tears in the knees. You can't be wearing sandals or anything that remotely looks like them. If your jeans happen to be ankle jeans (a.k.a. really bad high waters, but on purpose because they're skinny jeans) they will accuse you of wearing capris and send you home. I guess ankles and armpits are just too darn sexy.

Speed dating.

Who would you pick?

*Names have been changed, as long as I was able to figure out a different one that adequately fit their personality and looks

#1. Hey! My name is Conner. I enjoy running marathons and listening to music. I have stellar style and will make you feel amazing when I'm with you. However, I'll only talk to you every 2 weeks and it has to be after 10 pm and on a week night.

#2. How's it goin'? I'm Logan. I dig sports and making you feel like a princess! I also like to read and watch classic movies. Not with you though. I just like to look at you. You don't even have to talk., in fact, it's better if you don't.

#3. Hey... what's up? I like to go by Bryan. I'm super down to earth and love doing all the same things you do. I'm also really patient and have a solid, super fun personality. Unfortunately, I'm giving you the "friend vibe", so.... ya.

For once, I'm mildly grateful I have little to no options.

(P.S. Just in case you were getting any crazy ideas... These are my friends' choices.... She's leaning towards #3 and just stickin' it out to see if anything changes)

(I'm also mildly grateful she doesn't read my blog)

Conference was bomb.com.

So was the pineapple I bought yesterday.

Want to be my friend? Send me dried mangos. They don't have them here.

When percocet isn't available...

try making a list of things that could be worse!

Like so.

10 things that are most definitely worse than a dateless, homework-filled saturday night:

1. Having 10 kids under that age of 5 (it could totally happen!)

2. Being in a Chinese jail

3. Waking up with a mouse on your face

4. Balding

5. Peeing your pants on a first date

6. Being an only child

7. Eating too many brownies and throwing up

8. Having no sense of humor

9. Getting a -10% on a final

10. Having a dateless, homework-filled friday night

See? Works like a charm :)